Pray Everyday (Survivor’s Guilt)

goldlink-at-what-cost-album

Being that GoldLink is from the DMV, I had to write about something from At What Cost because it’s a dedication to our culture. I automatically have to support someone if they’re from here because we never get the support we deserve (like Wale *eyeroll*). The hook to this song says “Pray everyday say ya grace nigga, keep the haters keep the demons ‘way fam”. This is the realest shit ever. Even though GoldLink is talking about living with survivor’s guilt, I feel it’s important to pray in order to keep some negativity away. Maybe that’s why I have these negative vibes around me in this moment in time. I don’t feel as close to God as I used to be. I haven’t been going to church or even watching it online at all. I realize that I haven’t been trusting God. I don’t really know how this happened, growing apart from Him, I mean. It could be because I’ve been wrapped up in my own problems…i.e. being selfish instead of praising and thanking Him for the positive things that He’s done in my life. I’m always questioning Him instead of just trusting that the plan He laid out for me is foolproof. This weighs heavy on my heart and makes me feel hella guilty. He’s brought me this far and has brought me through so many things, and I just get in a rut and abandon Him so quick when things don’t go my way. This is why He had Jesus die on the cross right? Because we were selfish? This is definitely something I’ll have to work on. It’s most likely the reason that I haven’t been growing and maturing as fast as I could be…because my relationship with God is off. I think I’m gonna start by praying and talking to God and asking Him for help. And then maybe doing my own church with music??? Who knows for real lol. But I do know that this needs to be fixed asap. Because me being self-centered is just my anxiety talking, right?

-AH

 

 

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