Confidently Lost

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I think my regular schedule for wordpress is gonna be every other day lol. I kinda feel like writing everyday is a stretch for me because I lowkey think about the same things all the time lmao. I guess that’s part of my anxiety *insert shrug emoji here*. Anywho, Confidently Lost by Sabrina Claudio is literally my life (HER AESTHETIC IS SO PERF OMG I LOVE HER). In the song, she talks about being comfortable with being lost. And I feel like that’s what stage I’m at right now in my life. I’m growing more and more comfortable with not knowing who I am or what will come next. This reminds me of my horoscope for the year lol (I’m a virgo btw). Before you say it, yes I am one of those girls that is into horoscopes, signs, and spirituality. But, it basically advised me to just go with the flow and experience new things and places and then everything else will fall into place. After reading that, I knew that I had to get over this fear of not knowing who I am. I am slowing learning that everything will eventually be okay and that this stage in my life is temporary. I think that that fear also has to deal with my age too. Everyone in the age bracket of 18-21 feels like you should have your shit together (i.e. have a job, house, etc.) but you’re too young to have all those pressures. Maybe that’s why so many people develop depression and anxiety around this age, because of this complex that you have to be established so quick. I’ve come to realize that this complex makes my anxiety flare up 100x as bad. I feel the pressures of starting my music career right now because everyone is getting deals at this age, and I’m just sitting like a bump on a log. As each day passes though, I’m starting to learn that greatness takes time. Frank Ocean was 24 when he released Channel Orange. Solange is 31 and she just got to the height of her career (don’t get it twisted, she been it but people just realizing now). I find myself saying that I have time and to not rush what God has in store for me. And as they always say, the longer it takes to get to the top means the longer you’ll stay there. Because those pressures are just my anxiety talking, right?

-AH

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