I know I said that I would write everyday but I was busy yesterday lol. Today, I chose Biking because there’s a line where Frankie says “God gave you what you can handle”. This line speaks to me every single time I listen. It gives me hope that I’ll eventually get over all the bad things going on in my life. Believe me, I’ve broken down so many times, just questioning God like: “why are you doing this to me?”, “what am I supposed to learn from this?”, etc. I know they say that the greater the trials and tribulations, the bigger your blessings will be after but when is my blessing coming? I feel like I’ve been through so much, from my mom losing her job, to her developing dementia, to us not being able to pay the bills, to the worry of our house getting foreclosed, to me barely paying for school, to nobody hiring me for the summer…I can literally go on and on. But when I listen to this song, all of my problems melt away, especially when I’m driving along the country roads of MD. My anxiety doesn’t exist in these 4 and a half minutes and I believe it serves as a combination of reassurance and hope. And even though this isn’t a gospel song (lmao it’s funny to imagine it as one though), it reminds me that God loves me and he’s always right beside me, even when I don’t think he is. It also reminds me that even though I’m lost (i.e I don’t believe in myself and I don’t really know who I am), I’ll eventually find my way and life will get better. It’s amazing how music can connect to you so much in a way that you can be convinced that everything will be alright. It’s one of the amazing qualities music has that I am obsessed with, it’s what I craved to eventually put in my own music. It’s also a big part of this blog and the reason why it’s set up as a soundtrack. All of these songs make me feel certain things and emotions which causes me to write and relate them to my life. I’m gonna try and do this in real life too. I’ll try and write my emotions and feelings down when songs like these come on so those thoughts can become original songs. Imma do it no matter how much I think that my writing is trash. Because that’s just anxiety talking, right?



Author: soundtrackofmyanxiety

adriana | 21 | MD & NJ | Just a girl with anxiety trying to find a way to her dreams

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