Hollywood Dreams

miguel_-_wildheart

This post is gonna be a lil different. After that Kendrick concert, I really started thinking about what I want for myself in the future. Miguel fit the whole theme perfectly with this song so I had to use it (wildheart is so underrated omg). Kendrick’s concert was literally the best thing I’ve seen in my life. Like I can’t even find words to describe the whole show…it was that good. But that same night, I realized that I think I might be made for concerts and tours. The energy between an artist and the fans in the crowd is so electric and real, I’ve never felt anything else like it. It was so infectious that I don’t really remember anything from his set. Now that I think about it, I blackout at every concert I go to. I don’t know how this happens, but if the energy was that strong with me in the crowd, imagine how powerful the energy would be if I was on stage. I didn’t think that I could really do it because I get so nervous but I feel like nervousness allows me to tap into some hidden energy in me and I become so free and alive. I know I sound crazy as fuck but I don’t know how else to explain what I felt that night. I wish I knew what causes that energy, it’s so interesting to me that live music can do that. Maybe it’s the connection between the artist and their fans, like the artist loves the fans because they support them and love them and the fans are obsessed with the artist because of their talents. Then that would mean the energy is mostly love and adoration (insert thinking emoji here lol)…look I don’t know what it is, I just know I want that connection. I want to be able to create and put it out in the world and receive love and feel this special connection to people I don’t even know. I want to experience this universal connection that music creates from the artist standpoint. Maybe that’ll help me find who I am. But as usual, that voice in the back of my head is always there to taunt me. “Why would anyone wanna listen to you?”, “Your voice isn’t even that good”, “You can’t even sing at an open mic, what makes you think you can sing in front of that many people”. But this is just my anxiety talking, right?

-AH

 

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Author: soundtrackofmyanxiety

adriana | 20 | MD & NJ | Just a girl with anxiety trying to find a way to her dreams

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