For this one, I’m just gonna vent about Frank Ocean and how great he is lol. But no seriously, he’s a big part of why I’m obsessed with music. Music was just ‘eh’ for me before Channel Orange dropped. I listened to top 40 and throwbacks only. That’s what happens when you listen to the radio plus whatever your aunt listens to. I will say that my aunt did help expand my ears to different genres like rock, alternative, classical, and even a little bit of country (I can’t stand country now though lmao). But when Channel Orange dropped, it literally changed my life forever. I had heard Thinkin’ Bout You before I heard the album and that’s what got my foot in the door. I just didn’t expect it to throw me through the door and into the next room. I was like Jazz when Uncle Phil threw him out of their house in Bel-Air (RIP Uncle Phil). Now that I think about it, my aunt had given me her copy of Channel Orange (she had this guy who burned cds for her). I guess I have her to thank for giving me that…THANKS AUNT FRIEDA! As I was saying, Channel Orange helped me learn that music wasn’t just about radio and what was popular. It made me actually listen to a song and realize that it’s actual art. The most important thing it did for me was directed me to what I believe is my gift. Channel Orange (Pilot Jones if we’re being specific) helped me to explore the background, the production in particular. I realized that I have a niche for separating vocals from the instrumental and dissecting the background piece by piece. In Pilot Jones, I discovered something different on each and every listen. The beauty of it was that after I dissected each piece, I was able to put everything back together and almost feel colors and emotions. I don’t think I’m synaesthetic but it was like I could see images and some colors when listening. After that moment, I had to listen to everything he’s ever created and put out lol. Now in my ‘after Channel Orange’ stage, I do this to every song that goes through my headphones. Frank Ocean literally helped me find a part of myself that I never knew I had (he put the lens on me lol) and I am forever grateful for him. And I am going to BAWL when I see him at Panorama on the 28th because of it. If I could only learn how to use this skill when it comes to creating music of my own. I just don’t know if that’s enough to differentiate me from every other singer/producer out. How could this one lil girl from MD possibly be talented enough to actually create music/art that worth anything? But that’s just my anxiety talking, right?



Author: soundtrackofmyanxiety

adriana | 21 | MD & NJ | Just a girl with anxiety trying to find a way to her dreams

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